Have you ever needed to cry?

Have you ever needed to cry? Like really needed. Not like you're sad, and oh people cry when their sad. I’m talking about when your heart really aches. When you feel your heart going hallow. When you feel your spirit leave your body. Leaving only a shell with nothing left. The weight you carry is the weight of all oceans. Your body has never been heavier. And all it craves is to release. To let go. But the issue is if you open the gates, it might never stop. All it will do is drain.

It's funny how sometimes you think you really love yourself. You think you really love who you are. You wake up with the biggest smile on your face with the highest amount of energy, but you know anything can set you off. Anything can shift this so-called love you have for yourself. That makes you wonder if it was ever there in the first place. I am one of those people whose emotions consume their day. Not just a section of time in your schedule but ruins the entire schedule. It's all you can think about and how it's all your fault and no one will ever understand.

I have everything going for me in life. But the only thing is that "at the end of the day you only really have yourself".

I just have so many questions “How do I build myself up when I only focus on the negative?”

How do I build myself up when it seems like every single person keeps tearing me down? How do I create this better version of myself?